Pretty Privilege

 

Pretty privilege is real. We have all seen how it works. However, I think pretty privilege is very misunderstood. Just because you are not a supermodel or a celebrity does not mean you cannot experience and enjoy pretty privilege. A lot of everyday people have it, whether they know it or not.

But before I explain what the true meaning of pretty privilege is, let me tell you my story first…

When I was in high school, I suffered from low esteem because I was not considered attractive. During our teenage years, as we form our identities, most of us depend on how others perceive us in defining our worth (because we didn’t know any better). When I got into college, I suffered from bullying and I thought maybe it was because I was unattractive. I observed other girls in our university and thought that they were getting pretty privilege. Because I got tired of being bullied and being weak, I started beautifying myself. I took care of my skin, used teenager-friendly cosmetics (light Korean makeup), dyed my hair cool brown, and wore better clothes. Just after a few months, I saw people reacting differently (better) to me. Along with the self-love I gave myself, my self-esteem increased and people started telling me that I am beautiful and attractive.

I definitely succeeded in achieving pretty privilege. However, a few girls have started getting jealous and not liking me. It went on for a few years and I didn’t know why. But a few years ago, I understood the reason why I was still getting problems despite achieving attractiveness and pretty privilege. It was after my current fiancé told me after seeing my childhood pictures and high school pictures that I never looked unattractive. I realized that other people perceived me as unattractive because I had a very low self-esteem and I myself believe that I was not pretty. This belief was so strong that it manifested in my aura and in my physical appearance, affecting how other people perceive me.

And the reason why I still attracted negative energy despite being seen as physically attractive during my college years was because I relied on my physical appearance in order to be liked. Therefore, I attracted people who befriended me for my looks and not for who I really am. I also did not attract true love but only men lusting after me. Deep inside I was still so insecure, thinking that I will lose everything (everything that I got through pretty privilege) once I did not maintain my good looks and become ugly instead. I was so focused on my outer appearance that I neglected my inner substance.

Now I will explain the true pretty privilege…

Pretty privilege is gaining favors not only because you are pretty, but because you are likeable. Pretty privilege means gaining positive attention or favors because you are liked. Prettiness or beauty is subjective and depends on the eye of the beholder; and beauty can also be found inside – therefore, it is a myth that pretty privilege only belongs to those who are genetically blessed. People always treat the people that they like really well. So in order to get pretty privilege, it is okay to make yourself look better, but it is more important to cultivate charm and likeability. It is time that we pay more attention to inner beauty than outer beauty as the former is more valuable.

And just so that we all remember, to end this article, I will emphasize it one more time:

True pretty privilege means gaining more attention or favors because you are liked – and not necessarily because you are genetically blessed. <3