How to Have Many Admirers?

 

Why is it that some people are physically beautiful and yet they are not deemed to be very desirable? And why is it that some people are not really physically beautiful but have many admirers?

It only shows that physical beauty does not guarantee one’s desirability. It has to do with someone’s ability to be magnetic.

From my own experience of personal transformation and observation of other people, I discovered that trying to be aesthetically pleasing may be a little bit helpful, but attractiveness really has something to do with someone’s aura or personality. Altering one’s skin tone, hair color, or fashion style is pretty useless if there is no internal transformation. When I was in college, I tried beautifying myself physically, which really did make me more pleasing to the eyes – but my low self-esteem and negative self-talk dragged my attractiveness meter down. During that time, I only attracted people who valued me merely for my looks, which means that I mostly attracted superficial friendships and relationships.

However, when I started my inner transformation, that is when I attracted genuine friendships and admirers who treated me like a goddess. Now, I have a fiancé who loves me like I am a rare gem. It is amazing how changing something inside of us can turn us from being ignored to being irresistible. These are my tips:

Work on your value.

Be a woman or man of value. If you have a low self-esteem, work hard to gain unshakable confidence (not arrogance, but quiet confidence) and a high opinion of yourself. By no means be narcissistic. Be someone who knows his or her worth. Have a very high value and do not settle for less.

Know your strengths and accept your weaknesses. Recognize your talents and skills. Enhance your gifts, learn more skills, invest in yourself. It takes time and money, but it will be worth it. Work with what you have and be proud of who you are. I grew up very shy and having very low self-esteem but I tried really hard to uncover my value. Sometimes it takes time to finally see it. And when you have found it, you will thank yourself for the rest of your life.

To be desirable, know how valuable you are and do not be afraid to set your standards high.

Be yourself.

It is such a cliché advice, but it’s because it really works. Stop trying to be somebody else. Stop trying to be like the celebrity you idolize, the popular girls or guys at school, or whatever the current decade has assigned to be the trend. Be your own self. Most legendary celebrities have been famous because of something that is unique to them – it could be a certain kind of laugh, a beauty mark, mannerism, or some kind of weirdness. Do not try to hide certain facets of your personality in fear of being criticized. Own your weirdness, because that is one of the things that will make you desirable

Maintain your physical beauty and health.

In order to be treated like a god or goddess, you must treat yourself like one. If you have a daily beauty routine, stick to it. Proper hygiene should also be a top priority. Self-care should be one of your everyday activities – it could be in the form of a bubble bath, a facial, painting, cooking yourself a fine pasta dish, or reading a book. Health and beauty are related. And when you finally get to the stage of full acceptance of the imperfectly perfect person staring at the mirror, then you have done a very good job.

Regarding hygiene, I once had a classmate who was smart and had a very handsome face. However, he looked like a slob. He looked like he does not wash his hair, he had body odor, and did not care if he was sweaty. He had the potential of being the campus crush but his poor hygiene turned the ladies off. Hygiene is very important in attractiveness.

Instead of finding your ideal man or woman, be your ideal man or woman.

You may have already heard this advice, but it is so helpful. It may be useful in combating our desperation in finding the right person for us. By the way, desperation is repulsive. When we are desperate, it reeks and it subconsciously turns off potential lovers.

The qualities that we are attracted to in others are usually the qualities that we lack. Make a list of the qualities of your ideal man or woman. Instead of actively searching for people who fit the checklist, apply those qualities you listed to yourself. Become your own ideal man or woman instead of finding someone to complete you or fill in your inner emptiness. By doing so, you will feel better about yourself and you also raise your value.

And last but not the least, be loving.

When I say be loving, I do not mean to always be available to the opposite sex – because on the contrary, it decreases your value. Be loving by being a positive person, and putting on an aura of love and generosity to other people, even to strangers. It can be in the form of giving out genuine smiles, saying “thank you,” being polite, and complimenting people. When we always give love to others, even if it’s not the Christmas season, it boomerangs back to us and we receive so much love in return. Attractive people usually have a positive aura, and it is because most of them are really kind people.

Inner transformation is usually harder than physical transformation but it is really worth it. After you have had a grasp of how valuable you really are, you will find that having lots of admirers would be useless if the only thing you want is a reassurance of your own value. The truth is that your admirers are only the external reflection of the love that you have given yourself.